miseducation
where did i go wrong?
living my life as a lie, pretending to be someone i wasn't
pretending to be someone i didn't even want to be
feeling like i was dying on the inside because i felt so numb
so numb to my own desires and dreams
now i've forgotten what it feels like to be me
i just want to feel alive
so many people want to be my teachers, to educate me on how to do the right thing and go the right way
they think they know me
how can they if i don't even know me
they are only signposts that point in every direction
i feel so lost without a map to know which way to go
i hope to reteach myself how to be real
my heart will be the teacher
i can't erase the education, this wrong education that injected my heart with novacane
i can't erase the mistakes, only learn from them
this time i want to learn how to listen to my heart
and live by it

i must be true to myself.